Logic got there, but the body didn't follow.

Most people think about responsibility in black and white. Either it's your fault or it isn't, either you caused it or you didn't, and whoever caused it gets to carry the whole thing. That kind of thinking causes an enormous amount of unnecessary suffering, because most outcomes are not the product of one person's actions.

This blog post is based upon my podcast episode "I Didn't Mean It Like That !" — Why You Still Owe An Apology Most people have heard it. "I didn't mean it like that!" "My intentions were good!!" As a trauma therapist, I hear this a lot; not as a genuine repair attempt, but as a reason to avoid accountability. And when it happens consistently in a relationship, it can become a serious problem. Good Intentions Don't Cancel Out Real Impact Here's the thing about intentions: they

It sounds compassionate, it sounds psychologically informed, and honestly — the spirit behind it is pretty solid. But I've been watching this phrase get applied in some really problematic ways, and I think it's worth setting the record straight.

If you've heard of EMDR, chances are someone described it as "the eye movement thing." Maybe you've wondered if it's legit, or whether waving fingers in front of someone's face is really a serious trauma treatment (no one would blame you for such thoughts).

A love letter to my fellow trauma therapists. This job ain't easy.

Read about the top five mistakes EMDR therapists make, and how to avoid them.

Am I triggered? Or is this a normal reaction to the situation? Or, egad! Both?!? I'm already tired. Read on for some quick strategies to help you answer this question.

Read on to understand how the way you talk about your childhood can reveal your attachment pattern.

A simple guide to help you understand how to tell if EMDR is working for you.