How to Tell if EMDR is Working For You

This will be your view of me when we start seeing your memories change 😃

Eye-movement desensitisation and reprocessing (EMDR) is a weird therapy.

I get a lot of clients asking me exactly what to expect — that is, what the heck does 'memory processing' even mean? How do we know if a memory is processed? What changes?

Well, I'm glad you asked. Processing trauma is complicated, but there are several changes that we look for called processing effects. When these changes start occurring, your therapist (aka me) starts getting excited.

Read on for signs your trauma is processing, or in other words, that EMDR is working.

The memory feels distant

One of the first signs that EMDR is working is that the traumatic memory starts to feel like it’s physically further away in your mind. At first, the memory might feel close and overwhelming, like it's happening right now. But as your brain processes it, the memory will feel like it is fading into the background.

“It’s weird, but the memory doesn’t feel as close anymore. It’s like it’s further away in my mind.”

It won't go away completely, you won't forget what happened. But it will feel more distant and less intrusive in your mind.

The details become less clear

Trauma often causes memories to store in our brains very vividly — there can be strong sensory elements including sounds, images and smells. As EMDR starts to work, these details will become less sharp and prickly. For example, if the memory was once very clear, you might notice it getting blurrier or harder to focus on.

“I try to remember, but it’s hard to grab onto the memory. And when I do, it’s hard to keep it clear in my mind.”

This shows that the memory is becoming less overwhelming, which is a key part of healing.

The emotions are less intense

One of the biggest signs that EMDR is working is when the emotions connected to the memory aren’t as strong. This reduction in distress is one of the main measures we use to determine processing has been effective. At the beginning of therapy, thinking about the traumatic experience will likely bring up intense feelings. Effective EMDR will reduce the intensity of the emotional response associated with the memory.

“I’m thinking about it, and I feel neutral. There’s no emotion, it’s just a memory.”

We actually rate this before and after your processing session. I have high standards for my work, and I would expect the emotional intensity to diminish a lot by the end of the session. Generally, at absolute minimum we should see your reaction to the memory decrease by 50%.

It's important to note that EMDR won't take away normal emotions. For example, if something sad happened, you might still feel sadness, but it will be light and manageable rather than distressing.

I distinguish this by saying EMDR eliminates distress, not normal feelings. Unlike the distressing feelings coming from the trauma, the normal emotions will feel manageable and not all-consuming. This emotional shift reflects the brain's successful emotional integration of the trauma. This is a sign your brain is healing and rewiring!

New understandings

During EMDR, the way you perceive your traumatic memories will change. You might uncover new insights or recall important details about the event that you had previously forgotten, allowing you to see the situation from a new perspective. For example, a common shift is around self-blame; "I'm starting to see that what happened wasn't my fault. I didn't even realise I had been blaming myself." Such shifts show that your brain is processing the experience in a healthier way.

Some other examples of common shifts include:

I'm not safe -> I am safe now

I am powerless -> I have power now

I did something wrong -> I did the best I could

I'm not good enough -> I am okay just as I am

A core thing we look for is that these beliefs are not just logical. I want you to truly feel the truth of these statements. Trauma often creates an experience where our logical and emotional truths contradict each other; for example, logically I can see it wasn't my fault, but emotionally I just can't shake the feeling it was. EMDR will help shift this belief to an emotional truth, where you genuinely, deeply believe it was not your fault.

Accepting what happened

Another important sign of healing is fully accepting that the traumatic event did happen. This doesn’t mean you’re okay with it, but it’s an emotional realisation that helps you process the experience.

"I knew it happened to me, but I don't think the reality of the experience had really sunk in. Now it's like I really know, in a deeper, more emotional way."

Before EMDR, you might know what happened but still feel disconnected from it. After processing, you can accept it and reduce the control the experience has over your life.

Finding lasting change

EMDR is an awesome therapy that I'm very passionate about, if you couldn't already tell. It will change how you think, feel and experience your past traumatic experiences. Understanding how to tell if EMDR is working for you can improve your confidence in the process, so you don't feel completely as if you're wading through unchartered terrain.

If you are interested in experiencing EMDR therapy for yourself, get in touch!