We know EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can seem strange, and if you're new to it, it might be hard to understand what it's all about or what signs show that it's working. Processing trauma is complex, but there are several changes that can show EMDR is working for you. Here are some of the common signs:
The Memory Feels Distant
One of the first signs that EMDR is working is that the traumatic memory starts to feel like it’s further away in your mind. At first, the memory may feel close and overwhelming, like it's happening right now. But as your brain processes it, the memory feels like it's moving into the background.
“It’s weird, but the memory doesn’t feel as close anymore. It’s like it’s further away in my mind.”
The memory feels less intrusive, and you start to see it for what it is - as something from the past.
The Details Become Less Clear
Trauma often comes with very clear memories of sounds, images, smells, or feelings. But as EMDR starts to work, these details may become less sharp. For example, if the memory was once very clear, you may find it’s now blurry or harder to focus on.
“I try to remember, but it’s hard to grab onto the memory. And when I do, it’s hard to keep it clear in my mind.”
This shows that the memory is becoming less overwhelming, which is a key part of healing.
The Emotions are Less Intense
One of the biggest signs that EMDR is working is when the emotions connected to the memory aren’t as strong. At the beginning of therapy, thinking about the trauma might bring up intense feelings like fear, anger, or sadness. Effective EMDR will process these feelings so you can think about the memory without feeling so overwhelmed.
“I’m thinking about it, and I feel neutral. There’s no emotion, it’s just a memory.”
It's important to mention that EMDR won’t take away normal emotions. For example, if something sad happened, you may still feel sadness, but it will be manageable, not overwhelming. We like to distinguish this by saying that EMDR eliminates distress, not healthy feelings. Unlike the trauma-related distressing emotions, these normal emotions will feel manageable and not all-consuming. This emotional shift reflects the brain’s successful emotional integration of the trauma. This is a sign your brain is healing.
New Understandings
As EMDR processes the trauma, you may start to see things differently. You might realise things about the event that you hadn’t thought about before, or remember important details that lead you to see the situation differently.
“I’m starting to see that what happened wasn’t my fault. I didn’t even realize I had been blaming myself.”
These new thoughts show that your brain is working through the trauma in a healthier way.
Accepting What Happened
Another important sign of healing is fully accepting that the traumatic event did happen. This doesn’t mean you’re okay with it, but it’s an emotional realisation that helps you process the experience.
"I knew it happened to me, but I don't think the reality of the experience had really sunk in. Now it's like I really know, in a deeper, more emotional way."
Before EMDR, you might know what happened but still feel disconnected from it. After processing, you can accept it and reduce the control the experience has over your life.
Healthy Thinking
Trauma often leaves us with negative thoughts about ourselves, like:
"I'm not safe."
"I am powerless."
"I did something wrong."
"I'm not good enough."
As EMDR works, these negative beliefs transform into healthier ones, like:
"I am safe"
"I have power now."
"I did the best I could."
"I’m okay just as I am."
Through EMDR, people experience big changes in how they think about and experience their traumatic memories. Understanding how to tell if EMDR is working for you can help you ensure you get the most of your EMDR therapy.